Urban Jacksonville

Note from the Editor: This is the second installment of what (apparently) will be a recurring column. Peyton knows there’s more than enough dirt going on in this City to fill three weekly columns. But I digress. Under no amount of torture, threat of litigation or tickling will I reveal the identity of Von Tiny Paige, because I have no idea who he/she is. Please enjoy.

FROM VON and the well meaning people at Tiny Paige

Welcome back frenzies. It is funny. Wrong word. It is interesting that in the issues section of the Mimes Union (strong yet voiceless and trapped in a box, heehee) site called Activote! (we shall, in our effort to keep ourselves from poluting you dear reader, not link to the tripe) that the top two issues are abortion and gay marriage. So maybe its alphabetical. Even still, I didn’t know abortion was on the ballot this year. But that brings us to snip one.

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WE DON’T CARE WHO IS GAY! If you are going to send a tip to let us know all of these power people who are gay you can either send photographic evidence (driving a mini does not count) or show where the gayness is contrary to some public policy they pushed or are pushing. (Clears throat). Because being hypocritical is much worse than being gay. Von cares not who you are focking, only who you are focking over.

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The states attorney race is HEATING UP! One of the candidates is a MAN BABY! We got a couple tips from this race that aren’t worth our time (see snip one). But one thing we are pretty confused about is this. Angela Corey is FIGHTING MAD and has all the cops ready to bust your ass for voting for the status quo. Or at least they say that Plotkin/Shorestein is the status quo. Uhhh. Wait. Those guys have been working in that office for 20 million years yes. But we have only been the capital of capital crimes since the people that endorse MZ Corey took over crime and punishment. So wouldn’t a vote for her be a vote for our sorry current state of affairs. Send tips. In the mean time we’re going with the candidate who isn’t mean all the time. Plus you represent the people and the victims not the cops, Honey. We agree with the Mimes. Making hand signals: Vote Jay Plotkin. Republican!

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Jay McGovern is out pacing Ander (votes with Bush every freaking time) Crenshaw in fundraising. Why? Because everyone knows that Ander can’t lose. Well Sir Hopes Alot may have something to say about that. Von thinks this one might be really close due to our endorsement. That and the fact that Ander ain’t done squat except vote the party line. Go to his site and check out his bio. Von knows growing up in Ortega is insurmountable but come on, have we not done anything? His video at his home page about sums it up. Why do we need another cemetary Ander?

We’ll go with the engineer and business man on this one. Vote Jay McGovern. Von’s not drinking yet though we’ve endorsed a republican, a military leader, and two guys name Jay already. Don’t try to find any info at ACTIVOTE!!! its pitiful and with this congressional seat. The info has been aborted, which is gay.

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Norton Vs. Buttner. This sounds like an Eddie Murphy routine. Too bad the hot one is not Buttner. We really liked the idea of Norton because we heard when she got mugged she changed into a Norton for judge t-shirt before the news crew got there but we found evidence thats hog wash. We would have been so impressed by this despite her having one, yes one, trial in her repertoire. Sooo Jacksonville. Yet she is endorsed by squads of former insiders, Mayors, and current sherriffs. One trial folks. Is Von Tinypaige the only endorsement you can trust? Sadly so. Please stand. Vote soon to be Honorable Judge Buttner. Hee hee. In case you are wondering ACTIVOTE! has an Oprah tracker. Please just turn that thing off. You embarrass all of us. Angelina Jolie endorses…

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Vote Bill White for Public Defender. The other guy can’t pay his bills and is running on a fiscally conservative platform. While that may seem perfect for Duval, Von’s not sure its the best for this particular office. Though we do doubt that you will see any former clients at the UClub. Awkward!

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We’ll save our thoughts on the Presidential election for November if we don’t go missing. You can probably guess which way we lean. Its time to rise up and vote Duval. However if its raining or you feel like skipping it, you can always do what they want you to and ACTIVOTE! instead.

DON’T FORGET. We run on semi reliable tips and ethanol. Less than 10% ethanol. vontinypaige@gmail.com

Tags: Activote, Angela Corey, Bill White, Harry Shorestein, Jay McGovern, Jay Plotkin

Note from the Editor: This is the first installment of what (we hope) will be a recurring column. Peyton knows there’s more than enough dirt going on in this City to fill three weekly columns. But I digress. Under no amount of torture, threat of litigation or tickling will I reveal the identity of Von Tiny Paige, because I have no idea who he/she is. Please enjoy.

FROM VON and the well meaning people at Tiny Paige

This is the first of a series of columns from the VTP. This opinion column is copyright free however, if quoted, any pieces of the content of any column must be linked to the entire column. Von, like Ron, has access to inside information without owing power people anything for that info.

If you know something about the Jacksonville political and power scene but don’t want to lose your job, your contract, your husband, etc. send us an email at vontinypaige@gmail.com. Your tip may or may not be mentioned. We will never ever mention or give up your email. Use a fake email if you are paranoid.

Your tip should be reasonably reliable, however we do not guarantee anything in our column. Not even our opinion, which can change on a dime. Think of it as local politics for entertainment purposes. Or if you are a subject of a snip, tell us about all these LIES in the comments where they are posted! We will correct all proven mistakes!

So here is what we’ve heard lately

Angela Corey or someone who really likes her has spent a lot of time on as a troll on one of the local message boards. Of course she will probably win in a landslide but the committment to squash any counter balance to her “kill em all let Rutherford sort them out” campaign may lead to more academy awards. Only this overbearing troll has us totally hearting Plotkin. If it wasn’t for her annoying superior attitude we probably wouldn’t even vote for this office.

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Ron Barton of the soon to be defunct JEDC is missing in action. Since the northbank riverwalk was reopened in May. What is going on with economic development downtown? Miles Development in Brooklyn? Is that a development or an understatement as to how far we are from anything happening? They should change the name to Miles and Miles. Ron, call home.

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The Fellas in the planning office have been told to not go to jags games with Paul Harden any more. Bye bye club seats. Hello loneliness. Don’t worry the private sector will always be there for you after a few “math errors”.

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Jacksonville, you used to be easy to figure on the national political scene. Except I heard Obama won the hob nob poll. And had almost 20,000 votes more than McSame in the primary. Winds of change? We need visual clues! Show me your yard signs! Has it already been four years since Jacksonville was one big black W sticker? Since then, they have all gone the way of sub prime mortgages. We don’t blame you for not putting out those McBush signs but we think you should put em up high like gas prices. Design-wise they are an improvement. But where is the pride? Don’t forget if you do or do not put out a sign NO ONE will know you voted for a half black American!

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We’ve got some juicy port stories coming in to our port. Tell us what you know about the port, Mayport, what the business climate is like in the Bahamas or any old thing that we need to know. If its interesting, involves power and politics and needs to be told we will make some room. Just drop a tip at vontinypaige@gmail.com.

See you next week!

Tags: Angela Corey, Miles Development, Paul Harden, Ron Barton, von tiny page

Saturday Night!

Details:
October 20th, 2007
Shanty Town (map)
9pm-2am
Free Yuengling
More info: Best Jacksonville blog & Urban Jacksonville party @ Shanty Town

On to the news for this Friday
“Strive” Show Opens Nov. 2, 2007 @ The Karpeles Manuscript Museum
How to get a house for cheap(er). A guide to assistance programs.
Springfield’s East 8th Street Project Complete
How bad are the storms going to be today?
Courthouse costs to be scrutinized
Maxwell House: Good To The Last Scent
Halloween and Goonies in 5 Points

And in the “Is that our newspaper?!” department: The TU is live blogging the Grand Jury investigation of Sunshine Law violations

Councilwoman Mia Jones came around 1:40. I tried to speak with her, but she went straight into the grand jury room. I realize council members and other witnesses aren’t thrilled to see the media, but this isn’t exactly the paparazzi gaggle Britney Spears deals with when she shows up for a custody hearing

Thanks for the tip Tony! In addition Tony posted the DVI meeting minutes regarding the bagging of meters and downtown traffic flow in post game/event situations:

Brendon from TSI stated that, while the additional patronage is welcome, large Downtown events sometimes keep regular patrons away because of the atmosphere or logistics. He encouraged everyone to work together to minimize inconvenience to the locals during large special events.

Tony brought up a concern that the Downtown and Springfield communities cannot cross State and Union during many large special events and stated that it is nearly impossible to get from Springfield to Downtown during Jaguar games. Director Kelly agreed to look at the traffic patterns and find a way to improve access.

credit: pieter007

Wednesday September 26th Nikki Benoit of the Southern Alliance for Clean Energy will be hosting a free volunteer training session at Inertia in Springfield. This session aims to recruit people from all over the state to attend any and all candidate events to ask questions about global warming and our need for clean energy initiatives.

Southern Alliance for Clean Energy (SACE) is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that promotes responsible energy choices that solve global warming problems and ensure clean, safe and healthy communities throughout the Southeast. If you can’t come tonight but are still interested in volunteering, here are some details on getting involved.

This event is free and starts at 6:30. Here is a map to the new Inertia location in Springfield.

From SAMBA (Springfield Small Business Association):

State Rep. Audrey Gibson will update the group on this year’s legislative session. Then, you’ll have a chance to meet the City Council District 7 and At-large candidates and hear what they have to say before the runoff election on May 15.

The Springfield Area Merchants & Business Association’s general meetings are held in the Shands Jacksonville Banquet Room from 6 p.m. to 7:15 p.m. The Banquet Room is located on the 10th floor of Tower II (closest to the southwest corner of Jefferson Street and 8th Street). Parking is available in the surface lot in front of the Towers.

We ask that members and guests make reservations if they plan to attend. Please call 244-9758 or e-mail erin.vanwey@jax.ufl.edu by noon on the Wednesday before the meeting (in this case, May 9).

From guest contributor Rick Kurtzo. Let me and Rick know what you think about his post.

Plastered across the front page of the TU and transmitted across the local broadcast spectrum is this astounding news:

Incumbents Romp to Victory!

I understand the necessity of reporting results, and I am thankful for the service, but it ain’t news to me or anyone. What then might be noteworthy about the results? A few of the devils in these details: Election results

What I find most striking is Sheriff Rutherford’s claim of a mandate and an endorsement of his current policies. 60.26% of the vote is undeniably a resounding endorsement. But it is hardly the mandate he received in 2003 to continue in the well traveled footsteps of Nat Glover.

In 2003, Sheriff Rutherford won 73% of the vote. He defeated his combined opponents in the First Election by a remarkable 46.14%. Against the combined efforts of Dale Carson and Reggie Davis he won by 20.52%. Is that less than half a mandate? In fact, half a percent (589 voters) decided to forgo voting in the mayoral race altogether but considered the sheriffs race essential.

I wonder which way they voted. Considering the margin at the top of the ticket (52.46%), among other notorious statistics, it seems that the sheriff has some ground to make up in the community before he can claim a powerful mandate.

Ah Yes, on to the top of the ticket. Boy Wonder vs. Aunt Jemima. No surprises there. Unless you consider the 24,423 votes cast for a candidate without essential experience, a campaign with no effective message a suprise. Many will suggest that the African American community accounts for this number. Without precinct statistics available it is difficult to analyze this claim.

Considering the establishment’s faith-based loyalist and the insular black leadership in Jacksonville it is difficult to attribute this protest vote entirely to the organized African American community.

A likely dynamic was the long ago decided outcome of this race. Dissatisfied voters (and the “stick it to the man” constituency) could rest assured that a protest would be of little consequence. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps not. Let’s bring it together in City Council Group 2 (at-large.)

Bob Harms and Jay Jabour are currently separated by only 238 votes. Jabour to the good. Jay Jabour lost his last election by 98 votes. The last competitive At-large seat on the Council was decided by 2145 votes. Both of these elections had hotly contested county wide elections driving turnout. On May 15th the sole county wide election on the ballot will be the Group 2 Council Seat. With diminishing turnout every vote will acquire more influence. That 24,423-protest vote becomes significant. So do the recalcitrant sheriff 589.

Conventional wisdom suggest that Theresa Graham voters will flip to the Republican and give Jabour an easy victory. And Duval elections are nothing if not exemplars of conventional wisdom.

However, might the details above suggest that Bob Harms has a chance? A Democrat? In Jacksonville! A Democrat has not held an at-large seat on the Council since 1999. History suggests that Mike Hightower will have the vaunted Republican ground game in classic form. And they certainly have home field advantage. Do the numbers point to an exploitable weakness in the establishment machine? Unlikely. However, Harms might just have an “end around” up his sleeve. In order to win he must:

• produce his contingent
• find and mobilize some of Jackie Brown’s voters
• rustle up some of those Sheriff deserters
• convince some margin of the Theresa Graham contingent to give him a shot
• exploit whatever opportunity he might find among the rest of the district races(Jack Daniels’ grassroots mavericks come to mind)….

Well, that all sounds more like a hail mary. Anyway folks. We might just have a game on our hands.

Duval County voter turn out. Sad, so sad.

tags: jacksonville, politics, election 07

It’s Tuesday night an I haven’t even looked at the election results, but I’m calling it for Peyton. I’m sure he won in a landslide. Congrats to him and his deep pocketed friends. They scared all willing competitors away with fear of wasting any campaign money raised to battle the well funded incumbent.

Personally I voted for Jackie Brown. It was a subversive, counter-culture, F-the-man move. I know. It was fun. Do I feel like I wasted my vote? No. Did I want Jackie Brown to be mayor. Hmmm…not really. I should have written Stephen Dare in for mayor.

On to the news!
District 7 Runoff! It’s Gaffney vs. Anderson. Anyone know when the runoff election is?

This Wednesday, March 21st at 6:30pm - the Jacksonville Carbon Neutral Initiative (or JCNI) will be hosting it’s weekly meeting at Inertia. Read more.

If you missed last month’s District Branding event at artwalk you can check out photos and a podcast. (Tip: Jaxopolitan)

Tha links
Incumbents win easily in city elections
Greening of Main: A failure in the making?
Littlepage points out issues facing mayor and council in the next 4 years
Vestals On The Rocks Art Show Recap
Jacksonville Roller Derby videos!

tags: jacksonville, vestal, roller derby, election 2007