Note from the Editor: Under no amount of torture, threat of litigation or tickling will I reveal the identity of Von Tiny Paige, because I have no idea who he/she is. Please enjoy.

FROM VON and the well meaning people at Tiny Paige

Dear John,

I want to thank you for coming to Downtown Jacksonville Florida. And eat some flap jax!

I would have made it but I have to work two jobs.

The whole thing was posted on the best place for local news here so I got to watch it. It was funny how you kept saying it was great to see people that early. Early bird gets the worm! We don’t want to wait until your grumpy! Its good to hear you talk about how cute our Mayor is. He is so loved here. Your speech about transparency probably made him laugh and think of old friends. It was awesome of you to thank all the people that helped your disabled wife while you were here. Just in case some pesky local station reporter asked anything too personal about how this about the time you were seeing other womenz. Good offense. Wish you played with the Jags! Way to step up and help a lady Jax!

Did you like the editorial we made you in the Mimes Union? about how young people don’t even like Obama any more now that you have a VP with a tanning bed. So HAWT!

That writer is great, except somebody at the mime f’d up the cut and paste and said Ted Kennedy had never been elected. OOPS! That writer guy is dreamy and has his own television studio! He is handsome, and is non-partisan! You can tell because he has governmental relationship firms advertising on his site Solutions for Business and Government! Can’t get enough of that. Oh, and gaming for you know, family values! I hope the Mimes doesn’t get rid of him!

Anyway John, good job. It was well worth watching.

By the look of the crowd security was tight. I guess you never know when a relative is going to show up and ask for a house while this economy is full steam ahead. I’m so glad you have a grip on things.

I know the people who made time to see you will reflect on that day when they joined hundreds of people just like us listened to your plan for getting rid of earmarks and making things seem fine. I bet Obama doesn’t get half the crowd.

Listen to the part at the very begining about funding of legal defense of Senator Ted Stevens, AK. He takes a pounding and sits through it on public radio. While the rest of the callers rip through him on other ethics issues think about the City of Jacksonville.

The VTP can’t say when, but the media is going to be reborn in Jacksonville on the backs of the bizarre and careless corruption. Those who are unlucky and take the fall won’t know what hit them. If your not corrupt, hey, great city.

And if you do go down for something you can always make a comeback and really kill it.

Please no quotes without permission. Will trade for tips. Send more tips vontinypaige@gmail.com